What Do Women Really Want?

 “The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired” – Milton Berle. I wanted to start this blog off with some humor because many men talk about feeling overwhelmed with the differences between men and women. I hope this blog gives you some actions to try to connect with a woman in your life.

First, I cannot wave a magic wand and give you the information you need to understand all women – why? Because all women are unique. Instead, let’s learn how you can be more connected to your partner. That’s what matters most of all.


Can she trust you?

According to the Gottman Institute’s research: the highest need that women are looking for in a partner is their body. Wait, no…. it’s their fancy jobs and income…. No: It’s trust! Above all women want to trust you completely and for you to find trust in them. Trust isn’t solely built based on the length of time together, so even if you are in a long-term relationship you need to continue to value providing trust to them. For them to trust you, you need to stick to your word. If you tell your partner you are going to do something, then do it. You need to be reliable time and time again. 

You know what to do, but it’s now your job to apply it to your partner. Ask yourself what needs she has. Depending on her background and upbringing she might be asking herself, “Is he safe?” or “Will he be there for me when times get tough?”

Think about conversations or disagreements you have often. Do similar topics seem to keep coming up? Think about the last time you told yourself “Here we go again”. And bingo! That’s a big indicator to help you here. What is the underlying need of that conversation for her? If she wants more quality time with you, maybe she needs trust built around dependability. This is when you need to take the information and learn to apply it to your specific circumstance. This brings us to the next point: common women’s complaints.

Connection

When women have a complaint about time spent together or not having enough intimacy, they are likely to feel lonely. This need for connection is tied to their need for trust: they don’t trust the men in their lives to be there for them, emotionally. Are you listening to them? Are you caring for them? Are you protecting them? – but men, you think about these conversations differently. When women discuss issues with you, they do not want you to solve the issue. Instead, they want you to just listen and respond. Connection creates trust. 

Yes, women are emotional beings. This might be discussing sad or frustrating times, but also the good, happy times. When women’s emotions are showing, you need to let them be in the spotlight. There are extra points if you know how to communicate you are on their side. Provide to the woman in your life by also protecting her heart.

Avoid:

  • Giving them advice on how to solve the issue.
  • Tell them the next steps to try.
  • Siding with the “enemy”. If your partner is complaining about their boss, don’t you even dare discuss how much their boss has on their plate? 
  • Cutting off the conversation or multitasking.

You want to:

  • Give support and validate their feelings.
  • Listen without automatically thinking of a solution.
  • Provide undivided attention when needed.
  • Support them physically when they are discussing emotions. This means you physically face your partner. Square your shoulders up with theirs if possible. Turn your face towards them. Maybe even hold their hand or touch their back – depending on the situation.
  • Ask curiosity questions. Get to know her world in these moments.
  • Let them talk as long as it needs to go.
  • Need a visual: Check out the video “It’s Not About The Nail”. Yes, it’s funny and also true! 

The goal here is to connect to their emotions. From here, you can continue to build trust and then have the increased intimacy you are searching for. That’s what you are after right? The top complaints from men in heterosexual relationships are fighting too much and not enough sex. By working to connect to women’s emotions, men will likely experience less fighting with their partners and have more sex, too. Why? Because they will trust you more! 

Now again, women aren’t cookie-cutter versions of each other. Take this information and use it as you see fit in your relationship. I’m an expert in relationships, but you both are experts in your relationship.


“The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my 30 years of research into the feminine soul, is ‘what does a woman want?’” 

– Sigmund Freud

How would you answer Freud? Let me know your interpretation of women either in the comments or by sending me an email. I can’t wait to hear what you’ve come up with!

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Join me as we delve into the essence of “Understanding Women”!

Are you fascinated by the complex and beautiful world of understanding women in relationships? Stay connected with me for ongoing insights and explorations in this captivating area. Follow me on social media for daily tips, heartwarming stories, and innovative strategies to deepen your understanding and connections. Be part of an engaging community where we unravel the mysteries of what women truly seek and appreciate in partnerships.

Your participation is incredibly valuable, and I’m excited to embark on this enlightening journey with you across these platforms. Let’s explore the intricate dynamics of understanding women together and uncover new pathways to strengthen your relationships!

I Value Your Feedback

Did my article on “Understanding Women” open new doors in your perception of relationships? I’m keen to hear about your experiences and ideas for enhancing connections with the special women in your life. Your feedback is crucial in shaping content that truly reflects your experiences and interests. Please share your insights below – your comments are a cherished part of our ongoing dialogue in this community!

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